My Search for a Technical Co-Founder

Batman and Robin

Yes, I know I haven’t been blogging. But my mom taught me that when you have nothing to say, keep your mouth shut.

It’s not like I haven’t been active but my journey has taken me in a new direction.
Just as I was about to hire a team of freelancers to tackle the beta version of StashWall, I realized that I’m probably not going to be able to scale that way. That I need a team with skin in the game. So I switched tactics midstream and started my search.

And it has been a huge challenge. I’m over 40 so old/elderly in geek eyes. I don’t have an engineering or computer science degree. Or friends in that world. I’m the “business” person. And I’m not connected to the PayPal, Facebook, Google mafia. I’m an outsider.

And so I’m starting from scratch. Trying to break into a new world. One where every founder (Batman) has an idea and is looking for their Robin. Because it’s impossible to do it all and even more sobering, in technology it’s the geeks that are valued most.

I’ve been to countless meetups and conferences in San Francisco, Silicon Valley
And LA. There’s a whole industry that’s sprung up to help match people up. Taking the idea behind online dating and moving it to co-founder dating. Some virtual and some IRL (in real life).

And boy, it certainly feels like dating. You meet someone across a crowded room, exchange cards and say I’ll call you. But they never respond. Ouch. Or you do meet someone and go on that date. Spend 2 hours together. Feel really good about it and then, rejection. They don’t even have the decency or manners to say, sorry, you’re not the one.

Last night I went to an event organized by Founder Dating. A new organization I joined. They promised a 50/50 mix of engineers and business founders but only 13 of the 25 invitees showed up and only 3 had technical chops. Kind of like going to a high school dance where it’s mostly girls and the boys are mobbed.

But like in the romantic version of dating, you stick with it. Hoping, wishing that the next person will be the one.

So if you know anyone who may be right for me, please know that I’m willing to be fixed up. Hope springs eternal.

Walk the Talk

Moving Van

I woke up a month ago and realized that I was a phony. Here I was building a company where I’m preaching simplicity and decluttering and yet, I’m living in a 2200 sq. ft. house with 3 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, a library, 6 closets and a garage. And it’s just me.

And while I was pretty much paperless having scanned my documents and photos earlier that year, I still had a lot of stuff. Books, clothes, kitchenware and countless objects in the garage that were just sitting there. Waiting for what? And so I embarked on a mission.

  1. Find a new place where I’d actually use the entire space. The reality was that I rarely used my library, guest room or back yard. Those fabulous dinner parties I was planning to host on my spectacular dining room table never really materialized. I pretty much lived in my office and bedroom. And occasionally watched TV in the living room.
  2. Get rid of ½ my stuff. That was the other thing. I never wore half my clothes (too many closets) and never really went back to read a book on my shelves (plus I now read everything on my iPad). And since I rarely (OK, never) cook, all those kitchen platters, bowls, utensils and gadgets were just taking up space.
  3. Sell as much as I could (something I never attempted before) by using Craigslist, eBay, consignment etc. and donate the rest.
  4. Move as little furniture as possible so I can buy new furniture to suit my new place. In the past, I always looked for new homes based on my existing furniture. This time I was going to fall in love with the place first and then figure out what to move.

And so while I’m still drowning in boxes (the move was yesterday) I am happy to report that I accomplished my goals. I lost 1,000 sq. ft., donated 2,000 books (I allowed myself to keep 100), sold 80% of my furniture and even my outdoor plants, and gave away or consigned ½ my clothes, shoes and purses. I donated my kitchenware and almost everything in my garage. And since I’m not a hoarder it was all in great shape, just waiting for a new home. I even lost 5 lbs. packing up and getting rid of stuff.

The best part. I feel free. I only kept those things that meant something to me. Art, collectibles, books, furniture that I actually cared about. Rather than accumulated. Instead of the 2 moving trucks it took to move me 6 years ago, this time it was one truck and it wasn’t even full. And it was fun to buy new furniture to suit the new place (from the money I received selling the old stuff) and my fresh start.

So mission accomplished. Now I need to get back to those boxes.

DEVELOPMENT HELL

“It’s always darkest before the dawn.”
– Spanish proverb

I thought making movies in Hollywood was hard. You sell a story, hire a writer, deliver a script and then, you wait. I loathe waiting. Patience is definitely not in my DNA.

It took over two years for my first TV movie to go from selling it to CBS to getting on the air. Lots of hurry up and wait until you get that green light. And that’s if you’re lucky enough to see your project through to production. Most projects never make it past the development phase.

When I made my own film – Beer Wars – there was no committee, just me, myself and I. It was way harder to do it on my own (no multi million dollar budget, 60 person crew and production trailer). But at least there was no delay because someone had to run an idea up the flagpole.

As an independent filmmaker, I was dependent on other people: their schedules, their issues. Since I didn’t have a big budget or the cachet (first time filmmaker) I often had to wait if I wanted to hire a particular cinematographer or editor. It was worth it in the end but it presented a different kind of hell.

With StashWall, it’s been a similar process. Since I can’t afford to hire a team of experts, I’m often at the mercy of my (freelancer) team’s schedule. Ideal? No. Fun? No. But necessary, absolutely. Because as with any creative project, the end result is what matters. Ultimately audiences, viewers, and users judge the product. First impressions count and in order to hook them, there has to be something special there. And to get to there, you need to deliver quality. And that can only be done by surrounding yourself with the right people. So I wait. Not so patiently to get to the next stage. When I have a full-time team working on my vision.

Validation

Running a startup often means living in the shadows. At least when you’re in the early stages. You’re working 24/7 but have no tangible results to show anyone. Similar to making a film until you have an actual rough cut.

So it was nice to see that Beer Wars, the film I released in 2009 was recognized by Entrepreneur as one of 10 Must-See Documentaries for Entrepreneurs.

Sometimes (OK, always) external validation is a welcome respite from anonymity. Let’s face it, recognition, especially for an artistic endeavor, is always nice to receive.

And this kind of exposure means that the film will hopefully inspire other entrepreneurs to go for it. Yes, for the passion. But also in the hope that they too receive some sort of external validation for all their hard work.

Fitting in

I’ve been to over 2 dozen tech conferences and countless meetups since I’ve been on this journey. Not being a geek means that I’m in the minority wherever I go. Being a woman over 40 makes me stand out. Especially if I’m wearing a dress. I’ve often been mistaken for a VC.

While planning for my latest trip to the bay area, I read about a conference that had 2 speakers I’d never seen live – Steve Blank and Mitch Kapor. I immediately signed up not paying attention to the other details.

I arrived at the Orrick building in San Francisco bright and early and saw a table in the lobby with a “Black Founders” sign. Oops, there’s a detail I missed. I hoped I was in the right place. Turns out I was and they couldn’t have been nicer. Even though I stuck out among the crowd.

It was sometimes hard to relate to the speakers who talked about what it was like to be a visible minority. They weren’t complaining, just relating their personal experiences.

As a woman, I’ve never thought of myself as a minority. Maybe because I’m used to being the only woman senior executive in boardrooms full of men. Whether in the beer industry, hotel business or even in Hollywood. I never let it get in the way. I always hoped I’d be judged on my performance and results.

They say that the stats for women in tech are low. We all know about the superstars – Marissa, Sheryl, Meg but where are the founders of billion dollar companies? Well, they’re just not here. Yet.

In the meantime, we have some women running cool startups: Leah Busque at Taskrabbit, Gina Bianchini at Mightybell, Alexa Andrzejewski of Foodspotting, among others. Time will tell as to how big these companies will get. But it’s great to see more women jumping in and creating companies.

I don’t believe that your gender, skin color or age should matter, but let’s face it; investors (angels and VCs) are predominantly male. And they like to bet on people who look like them. There are SO many ideas out there that they have the luxury of choosing the ones that appeal to them. The famous William Goldman line: “nobody knows anything” rings as true in Silicon Valley as it does in Hollywood. It’s a crapshoot where the best you can do is make educated guesses.

So to black founders, women founders and others who don’t come with a pedigree from Stanford, Google or Facebook, just keep at it. If you have a great idea and know how to execute it (by yourself or with a great team) then focus on 2 things: get people to use your product or better yet, get them to pay for it. It turns out that traction trumps connections. Just look at Pinterest.

And stop worrying about fitting in.

Good Enough

Good Enough

I was talking with a VC today when he questioned my decision to limit my alpha testers to a select few once I received the feedback I needed. I told him that I made a conscious choice not to rack up users knowing that we had issues to resolve. I decided that the product was NOT good enough to open it up to a wider audience. I’m a big believer that first impressions matter and that it’s hard in this ADD world to get people to give you a second chance. So I chose to get it right before I open the door to the thousands of people who are standing by. I see it as having respect for the user.

But in this age of lean startups and pivots, I seem to be in the minority. I get that you want your product to be used by millions but that only works if you have product/market fit. And that means that your product has to resonate with the target market. To me, it means putting your best foot forward.

Am I proud of what we’ve built? Abso-fucking-lutely. But knowing what I know from the users we have, I believe that I need to address some of the big issues before I go out to my network and ask them to come onboard. I hate repetition and so the last thing we need as we’re making improvements is to hear what we already know over and over again.

I really believe that sometimes getting it right trumps speed. Especially if you’re building a company for the long-term. Here’s hoping I’m right!

photo credit: mikecogh via photo pin cc

Being Nice

Being Nice

I read another great post by Justine Musk today about the problem with nice girls. I’ve never been called nice. I’ve heard myself described as smart, funny, aggressive, driven but never nice. My mother is the epitome of nice. She is sweet and kind. She’ll talk to strangers in the elevator. People love my mom because she exudes nice. I don’t think I have that gene.

I’m more like my late dad. Not so nice. More about getting to the point, getting it done, saying what I think, and not so much about being considerate along the way. I’ve always said that if I had to choose I’d rather be respected than liked.

But I’m trying to add nice or at least kind to my modus operandi. I now take the time to thank the busboy and the flight attendant, to respond to all (OK, most) of my emails, Facebook messages and tweets because hey, if people took the time to write to me, I should at least reply. I’m working on striking up conversations with strangers just to be nice. And I must say that taking the extra minute to be kind is kind of nice.

photo credit: Neal. via photo pin cc

Sticks and Stones

Sticks and Stones

Every day for 3+ years, I receive a Google alert for my film Beer Wars. I just saw a blog post this morning where a blogger described my terrible narration: “which is spoken with no regard to human speech pattern or emotion”. Wow, that’s harsh. And despite wanting to be non-chalant about it, some days it’s hard to take. Especially when you are being criticized for something like your tone or irritating voice. Sorry, but there’s not much I could do about that.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not looking for pity. Most of the reviews about the film are positive but you know what they say: you can’t please all of the people all of the time.

I do want to address the topic of criticism. The Internet has given everyone a voice through blogging and social media. When you put yourself out there with a film or a website (in my case) some people will always find the negatives first. Creators need feedback to improve their products, make better films, music etc. But the criticism (in an ideal, civil world) should be limited to constructive vs. the destructive and personal.

Interestingly, human nature is such that the most negative critics often have the loudest voice and the widest reach. Which may perhaps explain why they do what they do.

I’m not advocating censorship but rather self-restraint. Next time you choose to slam something or someone, ask yourself why. And be the bigger person.

photo credit: kxp130 via photo pin cc

How badly do you want it?

How badly do you want it?

Entrepreneurship is sexy. Or so says the media. Peter Thiel is paying college students to drop out and go build companies. Corporate employees are being encouraged to divorce “the man” and go out on their own. We celebrate the success stories in print, TV and movies. Entrepreneurs are our heroes and celebrities (again).

Even failure is in vogue because it too leads to success. Eventually. Or so they say.

But what isn’t talked about much among the “how I did it” and “how you can do it too” is the one moment every entrepreneur gets to when they have to ask themselves: “how badly do I want it?”

There’s always the moment when you have to make the tough call. When you question whether you’re going in the right direction, whether you should move forward or walk away.

I hit it this week. When I realized that building the company I’ve been dreaming of was going to be more complex than I originally imagined. In a good way. That I wasn’t just going to offer a product but that I was going to create the content around it. It turns out that while building and creating the product, I became an expert on the how-to.

But this means that I need to raise money sooner than expected. And since I want to move forward quickly, I had to ask myself the dreaded question.

And the answer: badly enough to go back to someone I’ve had a tumultuous relationship with, yet someone who has always believed in me and ask him to be my first investor. I’m usually extremely decisive and move like lightening but this time, I paused. I wanted to be sure that opening Pandora’s box wouldn’t have negative ramifications. After all, we didn’t leave on the best of terms.

But I want “it” so I put pride aside and wrote the letter.

The ball is in Mr. X’s court. But at least I’m staying in the game.

You can go home again

You can go home again

I left Toronto for Los Angeles years ago so I wouldn’t have to wear coats or socks. Especially in the winter. I try to go back every summer to see old friends, visit my mother and remind myself what a fabulous city it is.

This year I decided to combine business with pleasure and check out the local startup scene. I was reminded of the other reasons I left. Namely that while everyone and their brother is either involved in or dreaming about a startup in LA and the San Francisco bay area, that’s not the case in Toronto. Sure, there are a few incubators and accelerators (the “fancies” of which is actually supported by government money) but overall while they’re ramping up, I don”t think entrepreneurial fever has hit yet. At least it”s not spreading that fast. And that”s the other reason I left. Because in L.A. everyone has an idea. For a book, a movie or a business. Some never go anywhere but at least the dream is there.

That”s why I chose to leave everything and everyone behind and start fresh. And pursue my dreams, crazy as they seemed. Has it been easy? No. Would I go back? Not on your life.

I miss my friends (I see fewer of them on each visit) but the ones I do see are the ones who believed. That I could. And celebrated when I did. But I don’t miss the culture. The “what makes you think you can do it?” attitude.
Being safe means that my old friends live in beautiful homes and have lovely summer cottages and a great lifestyle. But most don’t love their jobs and regret not pursuing their dreams.

And I have stayed on the road less traveled. Always looking for the next challenge. Pushing the boulder upstream.

There’s no right and wrong. It’s just not what I wanted. The safe route. And now I’m on to the next adventure. I can’t wait to see where I’m at next summer.